Freedom

Drink more water.

Eat more greens.

Walk more.

Complain less.

Get off that damn phone.

There. All our problems solved.

We all know what we need to do, so why don't we do it?

"I don't want to." "I don't feel like it." "It makes no difference."

These are the answers from polling my three wonderful little humans — my in-house focus group on human nature. Two are teens now and the other is a (cute) little know-it-all. Between them, they pretty much sum up why we don't do the things we know we should.

Lack of motivation.

Lack of desire.

And an inability to see the goal.

And the answer is the same for all of them: do it anyway.

Even if it sucks.

Because brushing our teeth twice a day has a payoff, even if we don't immediately see it. And, like so many other things we do, most of us aren't waiting for motivation to do it.

If I were being totally honest, I have never once woken up inspired to brush my teeth. I have never listened to a podcast about how to become the kind of person who flosses. I also don't stand at the bathroom sink every morning waiting until I feel sufficiently aligned with my dental goals before beginning this necessary daily act.

I just brush my teeth.

Unsexy. Uninspiring. Undramatic.

I just do it.

We spend far too much time waiting to want to do the things we already know are good for us. I'll get out for a walk more when work dies down. I'll have that difficult conversation when I feel ready. And I'll put my phone down after just one more reel.

Nowadays, we seem to think we need to want to do something before we do it, that we should feel inspired to do our laundry or clean the drains. If you want x, you need to do y. "It's not that deep", as my 15 year-old might say. There's no great negotiation.

And this is where the magic happens. Once you stop negotiating with yourself over EVERY LITTLE THING, all the energy you've spent resisting can be used for something far more exciting.

By "giving in" and accepting what needs to be done, like my 13 year-old not arguing about chores, you have the time and the inclination to do something you actually want to do.

Getting your head down and doing the work, the things you have to do, brings freedom.

Discipline brings freedom. Consistency brings freedom.

While every negotiation creates an exit.

But do something often enough and something else starts to happen.

You stop being someone who's trying not to drink. You're teetotal.

You're not trying to run three times a week. You're a runner.

You're not trying to write. You're a writer.

Every repetition builds a new identity.

There is no committee meeting. You just do it.

Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

And eventually it just sticks.

Even if you don't want to do it.

You do it anyway.

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh)

Or, as my 15-year-old would say, it's not that deep.